Origins

Welcome to Courageous Confessionals.

My name is Kina Diaz DeLeon and I am the writer behind the Human In Recovery blog.

At the time I began this blogging journey, in December 2011, I was completely overwhelmed with the hopeless darkness of despair.  I was living in the depth of consequences of choices, compulsions, and toxic thinking.  Relationship/love addiction, Co-dependency, Compulsive Eating/Overeating, dysthemic depression, anxiety, chaos and stress were my daily companions.

I had gotten completely isolated: socially, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and relationally. I had abandoned myself and made it too easy to be abandoned by those I’ve cared about.

For years, decades even, I have “dabbled” around the edges of the 12 Step Recovery culture, never moving beyond the first three steps.  Overcomer’s Outreach, Celebrate Recovery, CoDA, OA, and other recovery groups were visited and explored.  However, due to the logistics of life circumstances, the lack of availability of meetings and support for those not dealing with alcohol and drug addictions, and my own willful self-determination to stay sick and stuck, mean that my healing and recovery process has been long and slow with many back steps and plateaus.

I still wrestle with these issues today. Thankfully, I’m not as overwhelmed by them as I once was. This is because of what has been happening since I began blogging. At first, I was trying to follow the steps and what I considered the “rules” of recovery process.  However, as my life carried on, I started using the space as a kind of journal and confessional. I also, slowly began reading other blogs and finding others who were sharing their experience, strength, and hope in their own journeys.

Reading what others were going through in their lives and how they were coping, moving through painful and debilitating circumstances with grace, courage, and love in the midst of anger, fear, confusion, and oppression, fortified my determination to move beyond where I’ve been stuck inside of myself.

People sharing their stories of going through, surviving and coming out on the other side of alcoholism and drug addiction, mental health disorders and diagnoses, physical disease and disability, disasters on personal and national levels, as well as confronting and standing up to prejudice and oppression inside their own families and society at large have touched me in ways they don’t even realize and may not understand.

Through satire and humor, art and photography, poetry and prose, fiction and autobiographical stories of perseverance, endurance, strength, pain, suffering, and hope have all touched me and the lives of many others.  Some of the stories are raw and off-putting on the surface. Some of them are heartbreakingly honest and open. Irrespective of systems of belief and religion, the spiritual interconnectedness of us all is being displayed, shared, and passed on.

Somehow, my blog started getting noticed and I began receiving a number of blogging awards in a very short period of time.  It was encouraging, validating, humbling, and a bit overwhelming for me to be on the receiving end of so much positive attention.  Each award came with a set of rules that usually included answering questions and providing facts and requirements about paying it forward and linking other bloggers. My understanding and appreciation of blogging awards went through a rapid transformation during a three week period of time in July 2012.

Now, I have come to the conclusion that I want to establish a blog award that recognizes the courage of being open, exposed, and authentic as part of a personal process of seeking healing, wellness, and growth. I’m calling it the Courageous Confessional Blog Award.  The title of which is partially inspired by one of the first people I am bestowing the award to, Sean Paul Mahoney of urtheinspiration and his post, I haven’t got time for the pain. The other blogger who will be an inaugural recipient is Tobbe ‘Torbs’ Lindgren of slapppshot because of his five day series, Confessions of an Alcoholic!. Torbs’ presentation and sharing of this series is what helped transform my thought into action in creating this award.

The rules are simple.  If you receive the award, write a post where you link back to the one who gave you the award and include the link back to this site. In that post, name at least one other blogger who has contributed to your healing and growth through the sharing of his or her own stories of courageous confession and provide a link to that person’s blog, including the specific post(s) that contributed to your journey.

It is o.k. to take as much time as you need to respond to the award.  If you have received the award and have not yet discovered another blog that contributes to your journey and your process, please feel free to display the award and as you move forward in your journey, when you come across one who does, then share it and do your post.

By the way, all the rules are optional.  If someone thought that you earned the award, then you earned it and have the right to display it without obligation to do anything else.  The rules exist as a way to build community and provide a “clearinghouse” of posts and blogs that people who may need to read what you have to say can discover that they are less alone than they ever thought.

To that end, all posts that will be presented on this site will be Re-Blogs of those whose blogs and posts have gotten linked back as part of the awarding process. Eventually, I hope to have recipients who are willing to do Guest Blog posts. I will not be posting any of my own original content here.  If you want to read my stories, you will have to visit my personal blog.

Thank you for visiting and taking the time.

Be well,

Kina

Recent Posts

Cate: Infinite Sadness… or Hope?

Cate is a wonderful blogess who openly discusses her journey in learning to live and cope with mental health issues, the loss of a loved one, and living in the destruction and aftermath of a natural disaster. In her own words:

My name is Cate. I am a forty-something woman living in Christchurch, New Zealand. … I started blogging because I felt I had something to say. I had already published a book called Infinite Sadness in 2009. It was an autobiographical account of nearly twenty years of living with chronic mental illness. I was severely depressed and had anorexia nervosa. I repeatedly tried to kill myself and harm myself. The routine of my life revolved around hospital admissions and at the time I published the book I suspected that this was going to be my life.

I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided that there is something more than infinite sadness and so I wanted to share my journey with you. Recently I have been diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder, rather than depression. This is a hard disorder to get a handle on. It’s not talked about very much and there has been a tendency in the mental health world to disregard sufferers because they are just too hard to handle. Isn’t that just great?

To add to the mix the last couple of years have seen a dramatic decline in my physical health. In 2010 I was diagnosed with the auto-immune condition Graves’ Disease. This is currently under control but I am still receiving treatment for it, and it will be an issue for me for the rest of my life. It was caused by medication I took for my mental illness. Also I have just been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a cruel condition often brought on by auto-immune diseases and severe trauma. It consists of pain and more pain. And fatigue. It’s not nice and as I am new to this I am still learning about the condition. Again, it appears it will be with me for life.

So I write about all of these things, as I fight for a return of mental health and a means of managing my physical issues. Want to know more? Start reading. I hope you enjoy my writing.

… I believe in silliness. Yes, really. What I mean is that in spite of everything we need to be able to resort to the silly things in life. Sometimes laughing is the best thing we can do and I have always appreciated those people I know I can be silly with. You should try it sometimes. It’s not about denying or ignoring the pain. Just taking a break now and then.

Another thing you need to know about me is that I’m a Peace Blogger, a part of a worldwide bloggers movement promoting peace, especially on 4 November 2012. …

Her blog used to be titled Infinite Sadness or what?, which is the title of her Facebook site. She was without hope and at first she borrowed hope, then when that borrowed hope was lost, her own began to grow. She renamed her blog to Infinite Sadness… or hope?

The stories she shares, the causes she advocates for, and the gifts she gives every day offer hope and inspiration for the rest of us. Please visit her blog and Facebook pages, you won’t regret it. I promise.

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