Cate: Infinite Sadness… or Hope?

Cate is a wonderful blogess who openly discusses her journey in learning to live and cope with mental health issues, the loss of a loved one, and living in the destruction and aftermath of a natural disaster. In her own words:

My name is Cate. I am a forty-something woman living in Christchurch, New Zealand. … I started blogging because I felt I had something to say. I had already published a book called Infinite Sadness in 2009. It was an autobiographical account of nearly twenty years of living with chronic mental illness. I was severely depressed and had anorexia nervosa. I repeatedly tried to kill myself and harm myself. The routine of my life revolved around hospital admissions and at the time I published the book I suspected that this was going to be my life.

I’ve changed my mind. I’ve decided that there is something more than infinite sadness and so I wanted to share my journey with you. Recently I have been diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder, rather than depression. This is a hard disorder to get a handle on. It’s not talked about very much and there has been a tendency in the mental health world to disregard sufferers because they are just too hard to handle. Isn’t that just great?

To add to the mix the last couple of years have seen a dramatic decline in my physical health. In 2010 I was diagnosed with the auto-immune condition Graves’ Disease. This is currently under control but I am still receiving treatment for it, and it will be an issue for me for the rest of my life. It was caused by medication I took for my mental illness. Also I have just been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a cruel condition often brought on by auto-immune diseases and severe trauma. It consists of pain and more pain. And fatigue. It’s not nice and as I am new to this I am still learning about the condition. Again, it appears it will be with me for life.

So I write about all of these things, as I fight for a return of mental health and a means of managing my physical issues. Want to know more? Start reading. I hope you enjoy my writing.

… I believe in silliness. Yes, really. What I mean is that in spite of everything we need to be able to resort to the silly things in life. Sometimes laughing is the best thing we can do and I have always appreciated those people I know I can be silly with. You should try it sometimes. It’s not about denying or ignoring the pain. Just taking a break now and then.

Another thing you need to know about me is that I’m a Peace Blogger, a part of a worldwide bloggers movement promoting peace, especially on 4 November 2012. …

Her blog used to be titled Infinite Sadness or what?, which is the title of her Facebook site. She was without hope and at first she borrowed hope, then when that borrowed hope was lost, her own began to grow. She renamed her blog to Infinite Sadness… or hope?

The stories she shares, the causes she advocates for, and the gifts she gives every day offer hope and inspiration for the rest of us. Please visit her blog and Facebook pages, you won’t regret it. I promise.



3 thoughts on “Cate: Infinite Sadness… or Hope?

  1. Can I just comment to Cate? My name is Naomi, I am a college student in the U.S. and I visited Christchurch last November, 2013 for a conference for Indigenous Anglican people from all over the world – including Hawaiians, which is what I am. (by the way, Christchurch is a beautiful place – New Zealand in general…the earthquake ruins were sad, but I love seeing how different places are being restored!) I just wanted to say to you – even though I don’t know you- that you are indeed very brave for sharing. I appreciate your courageous heart to share your story on the web. It was really cool reading that short little blog, and I want to encourage you to be blessed! I am Christian, and reading your story just prompted something in my heart to tell you you are loved. You are so loved & i want you to know that God hears you, He sees your pain — whether you’re Christian or not, whether you believe in God or not, I think you need to hear/be reminded that He is with you, always. “he will never leave you nor forsake you.” I pray for your healing because i believe he is a God who heals and wants to heal. & for blessings for you every day! As we say in Hawai’i, ALOHA! (love/blessings/goodbye) and thank you for letting me share my thoughts!

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